Getting the Most out of Counselling
The process of change.
“Counselling is most effective when clients think through and experiment with new ideas in between their sessions, rather than leaving all the work for their counselling hour.”
“One of the first steps to change is shifting how we think about a problem and backing this up with changes in behaviour.”
“Changing thoughts and behaviour is within our choice in ways that feelings are not. Change requires courage, ownership, and hope.”
“Focus on making changes in yourself rather than trying to change another person.”
“While counsellors guide sessions, clients benefit most when they reflect on their priorities and communicate them clearly.”
With clarity and connection.
“Use “I” statements to express concerns and feelings rather than blaming others.”
“When you begin defending your position or attacking another’s, it’s a sign you’ve lost your “I” position and objectivity.”
“Counselling is not about judgement or taking sides; each person deserves to be heard and understood.”
“Be aware of relationship triangles, where conflict is redirected to a third person instead of being addressed directly.”
“Beware of seeing villains, victims, or saints in relationships; this often signals an oversimplified view of complex systems.”
“Strong emotions like anger and hurt can signal that important relational issues are emerging.”
Understanding patterns in your relationships.
“Change is rarely easy or comfortable; others may unconsciously invite you back into familiar roles.”
“Setbacks are normal. Under stress, people often revert to old patterns, but awareness helps interrupt them.”